Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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