my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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