Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
she smelled like a LAN party
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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