you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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