so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
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