I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize