I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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