I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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