You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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