Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
We need a shit load of segways right now
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
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