I want to have your abortion
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
