Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
