I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
