i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
