im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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