So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
