So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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