moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
