Hey man sorry I got all grabby
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
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