it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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