Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
