He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
