fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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