maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
