I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
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