Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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