is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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