Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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