I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
