The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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