let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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