So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize
