I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
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Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
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You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
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