I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize