Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
