what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
