This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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