I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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