A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I checked into jail on foursquare
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
He? As in you personified your dick?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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