What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
