.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
