The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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