Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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