her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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