You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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