I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
