i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
