I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
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