I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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