it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
