So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
