did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
