Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
