good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
