And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
