What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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