He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"