He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.