I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
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Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
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There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.