I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
