Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
