Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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