I think I just saw someone hide a body.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
