Tell her she can't have a vagina
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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