i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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