You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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