On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
