i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
