So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
