White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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